Billy Jean....

is not my lover. She's just a girl...who thinks that I am the one...

I bought a greatest hits Micheal Jackson CD the other day. Every since then, I've been rocking out to Billy Jean and The Way You Make Me Feel and Beat It and all the classics. I rock out on my way to work, and it puts me in a great mood for helping people select just the right shade of green thread to go with that fabric for their couch cushions. I've noticed that I've been humming, and I'll admit it, flat out singing, Billy Jean for the last 3 days. I think people are starting to look at me funny.

All this singing of Billy Jean has got me thinking. Did Micheal just dance with this girl, or was there more. Was there any sort of paternity test to prove it wasn't his kid? He does say the eyes look like his? I'm still not sure about all of this.

Tired Laurel and Pizza

*****I tried to post this yesterday, but my internet would have none of it. So here it is.
When I first started this blog, I thought I might run out of things to blog about. I now know there is no way that will happen. I am so tired that yesterday I actually cried when I went into the breakroom and there was no cheese pizza. Now this may seem strange without the back story. I mean- who expects pizza? Here's the deal:

Since yesterday was Memorial Day, my nice bosses at Hobby Lobby decided to treat us to pizza for lunch. There are a few factors that made this such a big deal:

1. I LOVE pizza.
2. I didn't eat breakfast and was working a nine hour shift.
3. I had been working on my thesis all weekend and was really sleep deprived.

When it was my turn to go to lunch, after having a bit of a tricky morning, I was really looking forward to some yummy cheese pizza. I went into the breakroom (which has mysteriously smelled strongly of men's cologne for the past few days?!?) and asked if there was any cheese left. I was informed that they hadn't ordered any cheese. I then replied that that sucked because I'm a vegetarian. My co-workers then recommended I just take the meat off. They quickly realized that defeated the whole "not eating meat plan." I think on any other day I would have been fine. After being a vegetarian for 6 years, you kind of get used to being left out of the food count. But on this day Everyday Laurel was no where to be found. She had been relplaced by Tired Laurel, and this was more than Tired Laurel could take.

First I should introduce you to Tired Laurel. Tired Laurel is a lot like 4-year-old Laurel. She drags her feet and has a sad and confused look on her face. She often draws out phrases like "I'm so tired." and "Is it time to go home yet?" She really just wants to be taken home and fed a steady diet of cheetos and grape koolaid. Tired Laurel is really no fun to be around. Ah, but I digress. On any other day, I would have just plopped down and eaten some Dorritos from the vending machine, but today I even surprised myself. I did something I rarely do and DEFINITELY never let other people see: I cried. That's right. I cried. Luckily I made it to the car before I cried. But there were definitely tears running down my face. Everyday Laurel doesn't cry over pizza. Just Tired Laurel.

So the lesson of the story: If you see signs of Tired Laurel, RUN. Don't try to reason with her, don't try to make her feel better, and whatever you do, don't forget to order her some cheese pizza.

Happy Feet

So I did something smart, yet expensive. I finally broke down and bought some good shoes. I went into the New Balance store in Green Hills and informed the (cute) guy working there that I stood all day and needed some good shoes. My current selections made me feel a bit like Goldilocks. I tried all the shoes I had, but none of them left my feet happy. So I wore my new shoes today, and I must say, my feet are MUCH happier. My new shoes look like this:


I hope that works. I've never inserted an image before. I'm getting all fancy now. :) Anyway- I also feel like I should clarify. I don't want people to think I hate my job. I don't. I'm really glad to have a job that allows me to be off on Sundays and allows me to work with fun people, etc. I think I just sometimes get amused by the way the corporate world works when it comes down to a specific store. I hope that makes sense. Well- I have to go to bed because I have a high school teaching job interview tomorrow. Yippee! Wish me luck.

A Straight Man in the Fabric Department

I remember reading an article in Seventeen Magazine when I was in high school. The article was about scoring the perfect summer job. The author warned his/her young readers to avoid jobs that wouldn't attract "hotties" (Baby Gap, Victoria's Secret, etc.). I laughed on my second day of work about how there was no risk of running into "hotties" at my job. This gives me such freedom to roll out of bed, take a quick shower and just throw something on. I don't have to worry about looking hot because all the men that come into my area are either not really interested in my kind of anatomy or are attached to a woman looking for bridal ribbon or some other wedding-related item.

Well-I am happy to report that a straight man did cross my path. This isn't really exciting from a dating standpoint because I think he was still in high school, but it is exciting because I now know that sometimes, straight men do need fabric.

So now for the big question--what does a straight man go to the fabric department for? Cheese cloth. Yep--he was waxing his car and the bottle of wax said he should use cheese cloth. There you have it. Have a great Saturday.

21 days makes a habit?!?

So I'm really trying to stay committed to this. I'm on day three. :) I haven't been to work today so I don't have a "here's what happened today" story. I do have a random observation though. I must confess that I've never read Brave New World. I know, I know, this makes me a bad English major and a bad hippy, but oh well. I do own a copy though, and as soon as my thesis is no longer haunting me, I'll read the book, I promise. Anyway- I did watch the made-for-TV movie a LONG time ago. I remember there being this outsider character (according to Spark Notes, his name is John), like the only living creature not in the distopia. And since he was an outsider he could see the insanity of the community. As one of the newest Hobby Lobby employees, I sometimes feel like John. For example, every time I do something wrong on the register after I've already hit taxable, I have to cancel the whole thing and call a manager "for an overring." This basically means that one of my managers must come to my register and give me a slip of paper that I have to fill out and attach the receipt to. I'm ok with this (after a few weeks of thinking "what in the world..."), but the other night I thought, "Am I the only one whe thinks this is nuts?" when I was indirectly scolded for having used blue ink on the form instead of black and for having marked something out on the form. Both of these rules seem petty to me. The weirdest part though, was that the manager at the time said these things to me as if anyone would know those rules. Why would anyone just know that you must use black ink and you must not mark it out? I may think she's nuts, but, knowing me and my ability to ask where the bathroom is while standing right in front of it, it probably states both of those rules somewhere on the form. I'll look today when I screw something up and report back. That's all for now.

Technology and Hobby Lobby

One of the strange things about my place of employment is the lack of technology. There may be a computer hiding out somewhere in the "office," but there sure as heck aren't any on the floor. That means the following:
1. everything is priced by hand with a price gun
2. everything at the cash register is rung up by hand according to said price gun stickers
3. if something doesn't have a price, someone in that "department" has to go either find the price on another item or look it up in the book.
4. this book i speak of is simply an REALLY long computer list put in a binder-type thing. this means the department person that was paged has to look through hundreds of pages to find the item and get the price
5. the department heads must use this book to order every week. they walk around with the book and find out what is out and order accordingly
5. the only way we know what's on sale is by looking at the weekly sales flyer and the item in question to see if they match

all of this leads to some funny conversations. my personal favorite is when someone asks me to scan something to find out the price or to see if it is on sale. when they ask about price, i normally just turn the item over. i feel kind of bad about this since it's kind of like stating the obvious, but you do what you have to do.

the other day a man came up to me with a garland and asked me if it was on sale. i knew it wasn't because garlands were on sale the week before and things are rarely on sale two weeks in row. i looked at the sales flyer, and sure enough, it wasn't on sale. i politely informed the man that the item was not on sale. he came back with a logical point, "but it was right by a sign that said half off." i went to look at the sign that said half off, and it was there, but it said half off flowering bushes. now only a trained hobby lobby sales associate like myself knows what the crap that is. anyway- i pointed to the sign and explained, but he still wanted me to scan it, "just to make sure." i understand why he asked. every store in the country has a scanner. heck- at borders the computers will even tell you which aisle it's on. but if you look around my station, you will see no signs of a computer. my boss and i were discussing the situation later and laughing. she said, "i'm always tempted to look at the item, make a scanning noise, and then hand it back and say, 'i scanned it. not on sale!'"

so there you have it. not a very exciting blog, but i am trying to keep up my daily self-imposed rule. bye.

My new career...

So I decided that the best way to make lemonade out of my new job at Hobby Lobby would be to blog about the daily happennings. I have high hopes of posting daily, but I have to be somewhat realistic and realize the chances of that happening are slim to none. Either way- stay tuned.